Love After Divorce

Finding love after you have been through a painful divorce can seem like an impossibility. You fell in love with somebody, and you pledged your life to them, and then it all fell apart. Thinking that it could ever work out for you and that you could ever find somebody to truly spend the rest of your life with is hard to do in these dark times, but there is hope for you. Finding a happy and healthy relationship isn’t as hard as it seems. You can find the right person if you have the right outlook on relationships.

Love After Divorce

Dating after divorce first requires that you have completely healed and moved on from your previous relationship. You need to give your date a fair chance when you are with them and not compare them at all to your ex-spouse. Don’t make a date all about the mistakes your ex-made and how you want something different. A new relationship is a fresh start, and it’s own thing, not a continuation of your previous relationship.

You have to be able to genuinely accept that you deserve love and have an expectation for love. You have to fully embrace your new relationship to be able to have it work. Withholding emotional support or being withdrawn from your partner can doom a relationship to failure. Being able to be completely open with someone is hard after a divorce. You’ve made mistakes in the past, and you’re worried you’ll do so again. The fear of being hurt is a tough one to overcome, but you have to do it if you want to have a relationship and marriage that will last.

You need to map out a serious plan for what you think is a healthy relationship. You need to be honest with yourself about what you’re expecting from a relationship and what you want. People tend to let their bad habits creep into their lives, and if you have lousy relationship habits, they’ll show back up if you don’t work to correct them. Are you getting into this relationship for the right reasons? Are you doing it so that you won’t be alone? Are you doing it just for the physical aspects of a relationship? You need to ask yourself what a good relationship looks like and if you’re putting yourself in the right places to have a good relationship, or are you just doing something that feels good in the short term but has no staying power.

You should go out and do things in social settings that involve the things you are passionate about. Do open mic nights or karaoke if you enjoy public speaking or singing. Take dance lessons, go to political rallies, do the things that excite you and that you are passionate about and find like-minded people you can talk to and engage with. Being in groups of people that feel the way you do about the world is a great way to make friends and find good relationships.

How Kids Deal With Divorce

When a marriage is failing there is a great deal of concern the parents will have that getting a divorce will cause emotional and even physical harm to the children. Parents often debate the merits of trying to tough out a bad marriage for the sake of keeping the kids happy. The truth is that there is evidence on both sides that shows that children of divorce can suffer some problems as a result of dealing with the divorce while other studies show that the stress children feel during a divorce can dissipate after the divorce is completed and that there is little that prevents them from having a healthy and normal life.

how kids deal with divorce

One of the biggest keys that all studies have found is that parental fighting before, during and after the divorce is a significant cause of stress and anxiety for the children involved. Parents need to avoid exposing their children to the divorce process as much as possible and be honest and open with their children about everything that is happening. Being fully engaged in their children’s lives as they go through the divorce is the best way to keep the children from becoming upset or stressed out about the process. When the divorce is completed, the children end up staying with one parent most of the time, and it’s crucial that the parent is capable of caring for and supporting the children.

If you are a single parent after a divorce another good way to deal with the effects of divorce on children is to make sure your children have a large and secure peer group around them. Doing all you can to be inviting to friends of your children and the teachers at their school is an excellent way to show them that they have lots of support and people around them that care for them and love them. Being able to make sure your kids understand that they were not the cause of your divorce and they are good people is essential to allow them to rebuild any self-confidence that could have been lost while going through the divorce process.

One troubling problem that children of divorce face is that they have been shown to be less likely to have intimate relationships as young adults and have trouble making emotional connections to people in these years. It’s a good idea to suggest counseling to help deal with these issues. Having a trained mental health professional talk to your children about their feelings and the problems they are dealing with can help them get to understand their potential fears of abandonment and why they have made themselves so guarded and hard to get close to.

While divorce is a trying time for all involved the impact on children can be dealt with and in some cases, like abusive relationships, a divorce can be seen as a relief for the children. Know that divorce is hard on everyone but by engaging directly with the problem you can find solutions.

Avoiding Divorce

    Divorce is often referred to as a painful if not messy and expensive way to end marriage. It has a way of affecting not just the spouses but the children as well. It is caused by many different things. Oftentimes, discontent between couples may have been ignored for years, eventually building up and resulting to a decision to completely end the marriage

Taking identifiable actions means considering where you are in your marriage and how you got there. You may use this as an opportunity for growth and change rather to let it make the marriage spin out of control.

A37 3    First, it may sound otherwise but do not make any coercive actions especially arguments to browbeat your partner into staying in the marriage. This may go against your natural instinct during situations like this. However, doing so may push them farther away. Instead, try to understand and offer your presence for your partner and accept their reasons for needing to leave.

Secondly, be independent. Be active and do things that bring you joy, strength, and excitement. Stay healthy and have a positive outlook in life. It will radiate in you and you would look like it. Moreover, such positive outlook in life would also attract a positive atmosphere which once attracted your partner to you.

Third, do put your best in everything you do. Try to turn every opportunity into a challenge to make a good impression. Do not depend or even act as if your life is entirely on your spouse’s hand. Having this unhealthy sense of power in one party is not good for your relationship.

Fourth, do not allow yourself to be pulled into an argument with your partner. Acknowledge his or her feelings and the reason they feel the same. However, do not just concede to what they want. Each person sees things differently and there is nothing you can do about that. On the other hand, try to find opportunities where conversations would be on a more positive note.

Aside from those mentioned above, factors that may affect a relationship and the possibility of divorce may be the family income, concern for appearance and earnings, honeymoon and length of time dating. These factors are often causes of arguments and misunderstandings among couples. Therefore, it is important for the couple that they may give time and effort on self-improvement and understanding their family’s needs.

Put your heart into developing a game plan and sticking with. Never give up. Recapturing the romance and intimacy you thought you lost in your marriage is possible. Although both men and women have a different sense as to what romance is, it is possible for spouses to rekindle their relationship. There are many opportunities every day to make deposits into the Love Bank. Old memories may have faded, but new and better memories could replace them. Also, you may recapture the old memories you have. Think of the things that made you both happy; moments that reminded you why you started your relationship in the first place. And one by one, you can pull out the weeds in your relationship and start planting new seeds of happy memories.

How a Happy Marriage Affects your Health?

People do everything to get healthy. Exercise, supplements, medications, diet and relaxation have all been known as the ways to attain better health. It is a surprise for many that one of the most effective ways to get healthy is to have a happy marriage. For the past 35 years, researches have proven that married people are healthier than the unmarried ones. Experts believe that the effects of a happy marriage are very significant. One sociologist thinks that it has more benefits in comparison to giving up smoking.

Recent studies show that happily married men and women are:

•    More likely to have better physical and mental health
•    More likely to have a longer life
•    Can easily recover from illnesses
•    Take better care of themselves

Healthy Physically

Married individuals live longer because they tend to have better physical health. This does not only apply to minor diseases like colds, headaches, and flu, but also to serious health concerns, such as heart disease, cancer and heart attacks. Better physical health can also help them quickly recover from surgery.

Experts analyzing marital health in 17 different nations found out that married individuals are more likely to recognize symptoms, avoid dangerous behavior, eat a healthier diet, recover quicker and seek medical treatment.

One important reason why marriage has powerful health benefits is that married couples are fully aware of and are affected by their spouse’s decisions. In a sense, they have a significant vested interest in taking care of each other and promote healthy choices and behavior.

Men usually restrict themselves from several self-destructive patterns a year before the wedding date. Women tend to stop drinking, smoking, and taking risks unnecessarily. They are also keen on improving their family’s diet.

The emotional support that you get from your spouse can help you recover from both minor and major illnesses and help you deal with chronic diseases. Some research also discovered that marital relationships can boost the immune system, thus lowering your chances of getting sick.

Longer Life

The connection between marriage and decreased mortality has been established in several studies done in different cultures. As a result of being healthy physically, mentally and emotionally, you are less likely to get sick and so you will have a longer life.

The health benefits that married individuals enjoy do not exist in other forms of intimate relationships. Singles with intimate relationships will not enjoy the same health benefits that married people enjoy. Cohabiting couples do not share the mechanisms that make a married individual live longer and healthier.

Cohabitation is negatively associated with both health and financial satisfaction. Studies reveal that cohabiters have poorer psychological well-being than married individuals, which suggests that the protection effects of marriage are not manifested to cohabitation.

Conclusion

The study is clear, consistent and diverse. Those who are married are more likely to live longer, are healthier both emotionally and physically and are happier. Keep in mind that these benefits can be enjoyed only by married people and not by cohabiting couples. Studies about how a happy marriage affects your health are conducted in different parts of the world to prove its claim.

When to Consider Artificial Insemination

Artificial insemination is the deliberate introduction of sperm into the uterus without sexual intercourse. It enables pregnancy through special assistive reproduction techniques. This is a bit costly and should be discussed by couples well before proceeding with the procedure. Several factors should be considered, and to help couples decide, we will be discussing some of those:

FERTILITY PROBLEMS

1.    Several fertility tests showed a problem with the quality and quantity of sperm. It is either the sperm count is low and or the sperm has poor motility which means that it can’t reach the egg cell in the fallopian tube. Although this is corrigible, there are instances when almost all resort to improve sperm count fail, it would be so frustrating to couples but no need to lose hope, artificial insemination could be considered.

2.    There are also instances when the female has a problem with lubrication; she would experience severe pain during intercourse. Hence, sexual intercourse could not be pushed through. If in case, after medical intervention, this problem is still persistent, another option for conception is artificial insemination.

3.    There are also cases when the male partner suffers from difficulty in ejaculating, or worse is he has a problem with developing an erection. Problems such as that would hinder reproduction, thus, artificial insemination could also be considered.

4.    There are also cases when the female partner has cervical mucus abnormalities. Cervical mucus nourishes the sperm and also serves as a medium for sperm to travel to the fallopian tube. Problems with the cervical mucus mean problem with conception.

5.    There are also certain unfortunate instances when the woman has an allergy to semen. In such cases, artificial insemination is highly recommended. In this procedure, the sperm cell is washed off and is introduced directly into the fallopian tube.

6.    Artificial insemination is also recommended in certain unexplained infertility cases.

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MEDICAL PROBLEMS

1.    Another consideration, is when either of the partners is infected with Venereal Diseases and blood and body fluids borne diseases like Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) or Hepatitis. Infection could be transmitted through the exchange of body fluids during sexual intercourse. Therefore, conception is impossible. In instances like this, the couple could also consider artificial insemination.

2.    There are also other medical conditions that prevent reproduction

Though artificial insemination is recommended for couples with fertility and medical problems, some couples opted for this procedure because they choose to especially couples engaged in a same-sex relationship. However, another thing that should be put into consideration is the cost of the procedure. Although it is the cheapest reproductive assistive procedure, it is still a bit costly, and it doesn’t guarantee a hundred percent success rate. This is the initial resort when all measures to promote natural conception fail. The need to continuously take medications that could promote ovulation and boost the chance of pregnancy should also be considered. This entails commitment and lots of responsibility. Even though the risk in this procedure is very minimal, there is still a risk for multiple pregnancies, which may not be a bad thing at all.

Same Sex Marriage in Modern Times

According to Christian doctrine, on the sixth day of creation, the  Divine Creator made Adam, the first man, and from his rib came forth Eve, the first woman. They were entrusted to protect and nurture God’s creation, but a much greater task was given to them. God told them to reproduce and fill the earth and have dominion over all creation. From then on, man and woman were treated as two equal halves that become one in a sacred union to protect and propagate God’s gift of life. From then on, God decreed that man and woman alone shall be of one flesh and blood. Reproduction is people’s purpose in life as what most believe and therefore, many are opposed to a fruitless union of people of the same sex.

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However, same sex marriage dates back to the ancient civilizations and its earliest records were from Rome. This practice did not stop there; it continued to the medieval era, and up until now in modern times, is raising dispute. In 2001, Netherlands became the very first country in the world to allow same sex marriage and was followed by Belgium in 2003; Spain and Canada in 2005; South Africa in 2006; Norway and Sweden in 2009; and Portugal, Iceland, and Argentina in 2010. This movement was followed by many other countries and now, there are still countries looking to impose this change.

Even then, debates from all over the world are still ongoing (and even growing) about this issue, not only in the judicial courts and in everyday life but also in cyberspace. It has drawn the concern and attention of many people all over the world — man and woman, young and old.

The LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) community has long been appealing for their rights as individuals: to love and be loved, to accept and be accepted, and to live just like any other human being — free from oppression, discrimination, abuse, and violence. This community has been fighting for equality and acceptance for a long time now. The growing tension has given rise to movements and campaigns. Now, most of society have opened their hearts and minds to the LGBT community and they are being embraced and welcomed little by little by the people.

Ellen DeGeneres

Famous TV talk show host and American celebrity, Ellen DeGeneres, one of the many people who support same sex marriage is a lesbian herself and is married to her long-time girlfriend, Portia de Rossi. She is one of the many examples of people who have openly and truthfully accepted and embraced her sexuality. Still, there are people who refuse to accept marriage equality, thinking that it will do no good for society and the youth. There are still people who refuse to acknowledge others’ beliefs and preferences, and persist in believing their own. There will be things that one may not be able to change in a snap, but hopefully, as time passes by, society will be more open to various individuals and there will come a time when everyone will accept each other for who they really are.

The Average Cost of Divorce

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage contract between a couple. It can be very pricey depending on what assets you want to protect, because if you have assets in your marriage that you want to keep, you can’t expect for an average cost of divorce. Divorce payments can be handled like payments in your household: It can be expensive if you need too much and it can be cheap if you don’t want anything at all.

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage contract between a couple. It can be very pricey depending on what assets you want to protect, because if you have assets in your marriage that you want to keep, you can’t expect for an average cost of divorce. Divorce payments can be handled like payments in your household: It can be expensive if you need too much and it can be cheap if you don’t want anything at all.

Cost of Divorce

Still, there are types of divorces that really cost less, which is for couples who have already agreed on what to have and only need a lawyer to sign the papers. In the United States, the average cost of divorce ranges from $15,000 to $20,000. Some even say getting divorced costs as much as getting married.

When getting a divorce, couples should expect fees such as:

  • The cost of the court meeting (which depends on which state you’re in)
  • The cost of the attorney (which also varies depending on the state)
  • Mediation costs
  • Parent education class fees

When rooting for a cheap divorce, a person can have problems depending on what property to protect. When it comes to the benefits, division of the properties, and child or spousal support, you will need to pay just to win. The average cost of divorce can depend on what type of divorce couples want to take. It can be:

  1. Divorce Court

When couples can’t reach an agreement on matters like the division of properties or child support, they can take let a divorce court make the decision for them. In this type of divorce, the couple will both hire an attorney that will argue for them in court. This type of divorce is expensive since you need to pay for the court hearings, attorneys, and filing fees. The attorney will be paid per hour and the lawyer’s fee, as mentioned previously, depends on what state you’re in.

  1. Mediation Divorce

This type of divorce is a good alternative for couples who do not want to have an expensive divorce. With this divorce method, the couple will hire a mediator, acting as a third party, who will help the couple to resolve any conflicts and help them reach a mutual agreement. This is to avoid having an attorney and going to court, which can save a lot of money. The couple will only need to pay the mediator for his or her services and the attorney who will sign the contract.

  1. Do-It-Yourself (DIY) Divorce

In this type of divorce, you will represent yourself in court without an attorney. The procedures are the same except you will be the one to sign any legal contracts. The only fees that you should pay are the court and filing fees.

  1. Collaborative Divorce

The couple will have two attorneys: a financial specialist for the divorce, and a child specialist if the couple has children. This method can be very expensive depending on the fees of the specialists but still less expensive than a litigated divorce since you don’t have to pay any court or filing fees..

Is DIY Divorce For You?

While it is tempting to have a do-it-yourself or DIY divorce, it is actually something that a spouse must undertake with much care. No one ties the knot and dreams that one day, they will be divorced. However, the fact remains that more or less half of all the marriages in the US end that way. Divorce could be a painful, extremely emotional experience for a lot of people and it is also a huge financial affair. It may take years to financially recover from a misguided divorce settlement. Long after the misery has gone, a lot of people have bills that they cannot pay.

There are many risks involved in divorce: emotions on one hand and finances on the other. Sadly, the outcome is often very poor judgement. At times, a spouse would just raise the white flag and give up and allow a spiteful partner to get the majority of their marital assets. In some cases, the couple refuse to settle and do not want to negotiate even with the smallest issue, and in the end they go through a long and expensive battle in court which can leave both of them close to bankruptcy.

 diy divorce

Divorce Without a Lawyer

Divorcing without a lawyer could practically eliminate legal fees. However, before going through a DIY divorce, there are a lot of things to consider. Before even considering going forward with the procedure, a spouse should decide whether or not he or she would trust his or her former partner, and if he or she can be totally honest with the other. Divorce without a lawyer is a procedure built on trust above all.

Then, after the trust issues have been settled, both parties need to determine if they agree on all issues. If they are in the middle of an amicable dissolution of their marriage, ending up with a settlement on contentious matters would be more realistic.

Being Honest and Trusting One Another

If they trust one another and are willing to reach a settlement, then they can go through their divorce without a lawyer. On the issue of trust, the couple have to really believe in each other that they are both completely divulging all income and assets that either of them have. If their assets are relatively small or simple, this is another indication that a divorce without an attorney is for them because their assets will be a lot easier to split.

One more matter they have to resolve is the issue regarding custody of their children. In such cases wherein children are involved, it is advisable to consider talking to a legal professional to help them with their intended custody and support agreement.

A DIY divorce is actually not for everyone. However, if the couple is fortunate enough to be in a situation wherein both of them are willing to talk; still trust one another; and their issues with assets, income, and children are quite simple, then they can file the divorce by themselves and save thousands of dollars in the long run.

The Real Causes of Domestic Violence

Sixty-four percent of women who have experienced domestic violence have heightened tendencies of having mental illness. Forty-eight percent underwent depression and 18 percent took their own lives. Some men who caused such irreversible experiences were able to excuse themselves from the punishments by claiming that the violence was due to mental illness or the influence of alcohol.

Are these claims right? What are the real causes of domestic violence?

Research shows that domestic violence is a result of the urge to be dominant and gain total control over one’s partner. This behavior is due to the sense of entitlement and male privilege given to them by the spreading inequality. More countries all over the world look up to men as the dominant ones. They are given the headship in families, national government, and religious groups. However, there can still be other causes.

A person’s biological makeup can influence the way he acts. It is believed that some people who practiced violence had changes in some of their brain regions because of trauma. Some of them had severe head injuries that give them a hard time dealing with impulsivity.

Other cases are caused by early childhood experiences. One study says that those who had histories of being battered as a child have higher chances of growing into hostile, anxious, insecure, and dependent adults. They are unable to develop trust or control their emotions, resulting to violence. This also has something to do with social learning and development. Even when they are not the ones being battered when they were younger, they still gain the tendency to be violent when they grow up if they develop the thinking that violence is a way to resolve a conflict. In this case, when a child often sees his father beating his mother up, he is more likely to practice domestic violence in the future.

A theory on the causes of domestic violence says that it can be a result of bad family interactions. Husband and wives do not talk about matters properly, leading to misunderstandings and mistrust.

causesWhile alcohol, drug abuse, and mental illnesses are often used as excuses, they are not valid. It was discovered that people influenced by alcohol or mental illnesses rarely have such tendency to abuse people physically. If they do, the situation should be analyzed. If they are selective on people they abuse — meaning, they only hurt family members or people who are close to them — it means that violence is their personal choice rather than the effect of a mental illness. If they abuse random people then it could be because of the mental illness.

So the question is: Are abusers out of control?

Abusers are aware of their actions. They keep in mind that they do those things to get what they want. This simply means they are in total control and not out of control.

Whatever the causes are, it is important not to ignore domestic violence. It is like a disease that should be controlled early to prevent wit is important not to ignore domestic violence. It is like a disease that should be controlled early to prevent orse situations from occurring. It could ruin dreams, break families apart, or even cost the lives of innocent people.